* Just once I wish that those of us who want a window open in a stuffy meeting room would win over the ones who come in and immediately start shivering as if they had landed at the North Pole.

* I love riding on the subway. I do not mind one bit that my stop for this meeting is the last one on the line. I could sit there for hours riding from one end to the other.

* I do not, on the other hand, love finding my way in the underground maze that is Central Station.

* Why, oh why, in a city that is so big and has so many restaurants must my hotel always be near only a Burger King and a questionable looking Middle Eastern place?

* Where are the grocery stores in Stockholm?

* I must remember when I say something and the other person asks me to repeat myself that it could simply mean that they did not hear me. It does not have to mean that my Swedish is bad.

* I love hotel rooms.

* I need a list of things to think about when I am stuck in a meeting that has nothing to do with me and playing a game on my cellphone would be too noticeable.

Needs us some morning coffee! And delicious banana cream pie! — at Buck's Coffee Cafe gowal.la/s/rXg

Going home. — at CLT Charlotte Douglas International gowal.la/s/6xr

Back in the UK where the water from the sky flows free, and so does t — at LGW London Gatwick Airport (South Terminal) gowal.la/s/8CD

Gah. I feel subject-less, blocked, empty of title and content and meaning. I can't make up another meme, can I? Well, I suppose I could, but credibility, wherefore art thou?

What I really want: another day to sleep in, a 3-day weekend, maybe some vacation. A dark den for hibernation. Everyone at work is talking about what days they will be taking off during the holidays but I just grimace: none. My colleague is going on his honeymoon over Christmas and New Year's and I am working. If my mom decides to come, and if she does, if my brother also decides to come, I will have to try and figure out a way to either work from home or finagle a few days off.

Something I don't appreciate: being asked, whether consciously or not, to defend the entire American system and way of thinking. I don't think that I am a typical American, although I guess I am, when I'm the only one some people ever really meet or get to know. I don't like talking politics or ideologies with ANYONE, much less feeling like I represent any sort of stance because of my citizenship. I know that every expat faces that situation at some point during their overseas tour but it still gets my goat, every time.

Lots of people spend their online time and build their online presence by getting very passionate about causes and injustices and beliefs. Not me. My causes and injustices and beliefs are my own business. I may choose, once in awhile, to air something here, but most of the time I keep such things to myself. I don't expect my friends and readers to do the same, but I do expect them to respect the fact that I don't wear my heart on my blog, such at it were. What I think about the news headlines and hot button topics and topical issues is what I think about them. I don't feel any need, most of the time, to comment on them or engage in debate.

I thought flannel sheets would be cozy but too warm, but I find that I like them more and more the longer I use them. It's not really all that cold yet in the house; temperatures are supposed to be dropping this week, but so far I have found them not only cozy but quite comfortable and suspect that as it grows colder I will appreciate them all the more.

The urge to Christmas shop is upon me, but I have yet to receive ideas from my first family. I have lists (very long, expensive lists) from both my children, and the usual one-item list (very short, expensive list) from my husband. I am feeling the urge, for some reason, to get all my shopping over and done with so I can relax and spend my energy on not making and eating a million Christmas cookies this year.

The leaves are mostly off the trees now. Yesterday, while in town, the kids and I parked the car at Davidshallstorget and walked over to the Science Fiction Bookstore through the most beautiful carpet of small yellow maple leaves polka-dotted over darker, wetter shadow versions of themselves. All this and cobblestones, too. Now we can see though hedges and trees are assuming that stark outlined silhouette state that will be with us until the ice and snow hits, when they transform yet again into fairy-sparkle padded pillow versions of their summer selves.

I finished the book group book this morning, by giving up at 300+ pages and skimming the rest of it. I couldn't take any more. How A Confederacy of Dunces ever won the Pulitzer Prize is beyond me. Or any prize for that matter. It's unfathomable that it shares a prize with books like To Kill a Mockingbird and The Grapes of Wrath. Actually, when I look at the list of past Fiction winners for Pulitzer Prizes, it seems extremely uneven, so maybe it's just me. Did anyone like this book? I mean that is reading this and could answer me? Thankfully, the book I started this evening is already, after only a couple of chapters, scrubbing Dunce's excrescence from my mind, so no harm done.

For someone who had no idea what to write about when she started, this sure got long quick. Off to read in bed. Alas for not being able to sleep in tomorrow, though!

Slept here last night and are on our way to Ruby Falls... — at Choo Choo gowal.la/s/rb3

I'm at Ruby Falls in Chattanooga, TN gowal.la/s/rpM

The last ribs... — at Carolina Smokehouse gowal.la/s/rDT

I'm joining in because it was fun to read this in other journals...

3 moods I was in today: happy, content, relaxed

3 feelings I experienced today: ummmm, happiness, contentment, relaxation

3 things I'm looking forward to this weekend: sleeping late, Melodikrysset with Björn, playing on the computer

3 things I need to accomplish this weekend: packing, hair-coloring, ......nothing else that I HAVE to do

3 things I keep wasting time on: unfortunately I haven't had time to waste time on ANYTHING lately

3 things that have made me happy lately: my visit with loved ones in the states, being with Björn in my everyday life, good evaluations from the people I have trained

3 people I'm thinking of: Michele, Sara (if you read this Sara remind me to talk to you about a trip to San Antonio), a childhood friend who died young

3 places I wish I were: Germany (with Björn), Hanö (with Björn), Orlando (with Michele)

3 work-related tasks I did a lot of this week: riding on trains, providing training, reading therapists' notes

3 people I wish had blogs: Björn, Princess Victoria (maybe she does?), my work coach

3 LJ'ers I'd like to meet in real life that I haven't yet: zapac , jackiejj , not an LJer but still...Mia. Actually, now that I start thinking about it, almost all of you.

3 shamefully neglected projects: organizing the little cabin where I sleep and work, cleaning out my closet, sewing

3 things I miss: Michele, Taco Bell, being home on Sundays

3 fruits I never get tired of: avocado, grapes, pomegranates

3 things I'm glad don't actually exist in real life: Vampires, Flying monkeys, Witches-a-la-Wizard of Oz

3 things I wish there would be an end to: Lyme disease, diabetes, weight problems

3 ways to end this list: snip, snap, snut (så var sagan slut) *

* a mostly meaningless rhyme that basically means "thus the story ended"

I won ten dollars at video poker and Lennart lost fifteen. :) Now, off to Nashville. — at Casino Aztar Hotel gowal.la/s/q9T

BBQ ribs for lunch--Lennart's been longing for them. Supah tasty! — at Smoky Pig gowal.la/s/qsi

3 moods I was in today: manic, happy, aggravated

3 feelings I experienced today: bloating, amusement, affection

3 things I'm looking forward to this weekend: sleeping in, seeing Katrina, bookstore visit

3 things I need to accomplish this weekend: laundry, shopping for Father's Day, finishing the bookgroup book

3 things I keep wasting time on: Sword of Fargoal, Facebook, reading blogs

3 things that have made me happy lately: county-wide recycling pick-up program, a minus on the scale, that my friend's husband may get to go home from the hospital this weekend for a few hours

3 people I'm thinking of: Bryce, Melanie, my dad

3 places I wish I were: my mom's house in Michigan, Soliden, somewhere sunny

3 work-related tasks I did a lot of this week: presentation reviews, case study layouts, advertisement layouts & admin

3 people I wish had blogs: my mom, my brother, Becky

3 LJ'ers I'd like to meet in real life that I haven't yet:* gnostreah, jackiejj, kimbis

3 shamefully neglected projects: my family website, my collage book, my letter-writing

3 things I miss: vacation, that early-relationship glow, the eyesight I took for granted in my younger days

3 fruits I never get tired of: golden kiwis, clementines, red seedless grapes

3 things I'm glad don't actually exist in real life: dimension spiders, orcs, sparkly vampires

3 things I wish there would be an end to: health scares among my loved ones, the crappy weather, this list

3 ways to end this list: stop at 2, go to bed, triple-dog-dare YOU to your own list of triplets

*They're not the only ones, though.

Worthy of a featured spot and needs a larger radius. — at Gateway Arch gowal.la/s/3ZH

I'm at Lewis & Clark Monument in St. Charles, MO gowal.la/s/432

Eating fried chicken the way it ought to be. :) — at The Log Inn gowal.la/s/q2T

We met a little friendly black kitty. — at Monmouth Plantation gowal.la/s/oGH

Lennart's inhaling donuts! — at The Donut Shop gowal.la/s/oHA

Licking our fingers! — at Jim Neely's Interstate Bar-B-Q gowal.la/s/oXc

Going to Graceland tomorrow morning... — at Heartbreak Hotel gowal.la/s/oXX

What if we had never met? What would your life be like? Some of you might argue that, in fact, we never HAVE met, and some of you have only met me once or twice in person, but maybe the meeting of the minds that passes for frequent contact here is enough. Maybe it counts! For all the friends I've never met, and the ones I've only met a couple of times and all the ones that used to live nearby and whom I never now see, it must count for something, right?

What if you'd never come to that meeting? What if you'd never followed that link? What if you'd chosen to go to a different school or take a different class or move to another neighborhood? What if you hadn't gotten that job at the place where I worked? What if you had, but had decided, upon a few moment's first impression, that I wasn't someone you wanted to get to know? Our past is full of such moments, missed connections, near collisions, glancing blows to our experience.

If what we are is the sum of our experiences, and all the things that have happened to us, then that includes all the people that we have met, that we have interacted with, and most especially it must include those that are kin, whether by relation or likemindedness. How much poorer my life would be without the people who happened upon it, who added to its breadth and depth and who enrich it daily.

The family that let me grow and experiment, the teachers that let me stretch my mind and creativity, the friends that let me dare and dream and do. If we had never met, my life would have been so different. I would never have learned HTML if I'd never met YOU. I would never have learned how unconventional I was at heart if I'd never met YOU. If YOU and I had never met, I wouldn't have learned how to take words and twist them in my grasp until they formed a shape that reflected my heart. Every one of you has given me something, added something to me, showed me something I didn't know, answered a need I had.

If I hadn't trusted a friend, I would never have met Anders. If I hadn't met Anders I would never have moved back to Europe, learned a new language, conceived and carried Martin and Karin. Imagine! I might have fallen in love with someone else and had some other life. Or I might never have met anyone whose heart matched my own and my life would have been infinitesimally less blessed.

What if YOU and I had never met? It's unthinkable.

Big Bouquets of Belated Birthday Wishes to vember!

There's my motivation! I found it! It was lurking...in my brain. Always the last place you look, eh?

Things I did at work today:
Watered the plants, confimed procedures with a colleague on the phone, reviewed a flash card, ate breakfast, laid out 5 case studies, uploaded an updated datasheet and sent out a call for translation for localized versions, reviewed 5 presentations, made a new ad look better, sent out 4 ads to publications, ate a super salad for lunch, found a logo for someone, had a discussion about how best to do the next cheat sheet poster, farted around for 20 minutes while our awesome IT guy fixed my computer (2 new memory boards, 1 new graphics card with an extra fan), answered several questions, thanked someone for a job well done, finalized 9 enewsletters, fixed a typo on 31 enewsletters, updated the enews archive page, cancelled a dinner date, read and answered over 100 emails, finalized another ad and sent it for review...among other things. Productive!

We were supposed to go to the wallpaper/paint store after work but Anders got stuck helping someone and we wouldn't have made it before they closed, so we'll go on Wednesday instead. Martin's room renovation is in full swing. Instead I unloaded the dishwasher, made dinner, read 2 chapters, power-walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes and made a couple of phone calls. I have some other projects percolating in my brain right now...we'll see if they get started tonight or not.

Both kids had their H1N1 flu vaccine shots today and are walking around wincing any time they have to lift their arms. Karin has the most awesome sad "feel sorry for me" face ever. Is it wrong that I can't help laughing every time she tries it out on me?

Even though the weather was for shite today, it always seems like a good day when I have motivation, a good mood and a positive attitude. I get knocked down, but I get up again.

Tänk på döden! — at Saint Louis Cemetery No. One gowal.la/s/8S1

Totally excellent menu. When will guide Michelin come to new orleans? — at Stella! gowal.la/s/o6L

If I went back and read through entries from former years written about this same time, I suspect that a theme of split restlessness and lethargy would be revealed. It's hard to understand how I can feel both so itchy to do something that I can't identify and sluggish and slow at the very same time. The weather is reflected my mood today: grim and gray and cantankerous, blowing this way and that.

The AWC Halloween party was a smash success, a record-busting bash. There were 213 people attending, the most we've ever had at any AWC event in our almost 12 year history. I think the most we've had before this was 180 and that was probably a Halloween Party, too. It was almost half and half adults to children ratio, and since we held it at a great playplace in Malmö, it was 3 hours of happy hyperness. Everything went smoothly and my costume was a success, though both Karin and Martin tossed their defining costume accessories off as soon as we got in the door and took off running. We saw them when it was time for dinner and when it was time for trick-or-treating, but otherwise they were just red-cheeked sweaty blurs in the distance.

I found a sun mask at the costume party place in town and wore a bright green shirt, to which I clipped big flowers in pink and white. I was a Sunny Day in the Garden, of course :) Martin borrowed my authentic French beret and wore a striped turtleneck and mustache. Karin wore a silver face mask and that was enough for her. Anders wasn't motivated enough to dress up this year.

And now it's into November and December and the holiday season has officially begun.

Hopefully the restlessness and hunger for whatever it is my brain is craving will be figured out soon and I can get on with the getting on.

Eating breakfast before heading to New Orleans. — at Another Broken Egg Cafe gowal.la/s/nda

I'm at House Of Blues in New Orleans, LA gowal.la/s/hyv

Dinner? — at Brennans gowal.la/s/d6Q

Happy Halloween!

Sean and I went to a Halloween - Trick-or-Treating party. He really had fun. Once he realized they were giving away candy he was totally onboard. haha He was very polite and said thank you every time he got candy and then tried to shut the people's front doors for them. haha I made his outfit this morning. There are things I wish I could have done better/different, but over all I'm super happy with it. And he just looked so darn cute I think I squealed and smiled all night long. haha



( a few more pics )

Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the Internets, I have indeed discovered the CURE FOR JETLAG.

By mistake, of course.

The mistake was booking a flight from the US to Sweden without really thinking about the time difference. In my head I was booking a Tuesday afternoon flight home where I would sleep like a normal person before working as usual on Wednesday. In actuality I booked an evening flight out of Atlanta which flew for nine hours to Copenhagen where (because of the nine hours plus the time difference) I arrived just in time to grab a morning train home. Once home I brewed a pot of coffee and started working.

The only sleep I got between the US and my normal workday was the serial-napping I was able to do during those nine hours on the plane.

I expected to be a zombie all that Wednesday workday, I expected to struggle with jetlag for a couple of weeks.

My schedule is about to be CRAZY. I am going to be on-the-road a lot in November. Starting a month like that jetlagged was NOT a happy thought.

But, as promised, the cure for jetlag:

Do what I did, but do it on purpose. Fly home overnight and just nappy nap nap nap during the flight. Don't go to bed until it's properly time to do so when you are home again.

It has worked for me - I've been home for four days now and am not having one single jetlaggy feeling. NOT ONE! It's amazing I tell you - I just walked back into my crazy schedule without missing a beat.

Tomorrow I'll be riding on trains for almost sixteen hours, including a night train with a reserved place in the middle-of-three bunk. Bring it on, I say, I am Super Travelling Woman!

PS - On Monday night I am staying in a hotel in Stockholm where they have a room called "The Bathroom". The bigass bathtub is actually in the bedroom in this bohemian room!! I just might sleep in that bathtub...

The iPhone is likely as close to Peter F. Hamilton's nanotech Internet in the brain that's going to exist in my lifetime. I love it.

Lennart loves Piggly Wiggly! — at Piggly Wiggly, Appalachicola gowal.la/s/mJC

Is anyone else boggled by the fact that tomorrow is the last day of October? Already it feels as dark in the early evenings as if it were January, and we are still 2 months away from the equinox. What an down and up day this was...what down and up WEEK, for that matter.

At the beginning of it, one of my colleagues, another American who is also a friend, sent out an email to all the Americans in our department, asking if we would be interested in helping to organize a Thanksgiving dinner for our entire department. There are 33 people in our department, if you count the 3 who are on parental leave and the 1 who is on sabbatical. Of those, (including one of the ones on leave), SIX of us are American.

Anyway, apparently one or more of the non-Americans had been inquiring about Thanksgiving and it gave her this great idea of all of us Americans cooking up and serving a real Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. I have to admit that my first reaction was dismay. And my second.

We have been hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for our closest friends in Sweden since we moved here, nearly 13 years ago, and the amount of people at the dinner is usually around 14-16 including the kids. I don't cook a darn thing at these dinners. I organize them, clean the house, buy the groceries and drinks, set the table, and clean up afterward. My husband cooks the THREE turkeys it takes to feed that many people and still have leftovers, as well as the stuffing that goes in them, and mashed potatoes. Each couple that comes brings one of the requisite dishes: one brings pumpkin pie(s), one a chocolate dessert, one the green bean casserole. One brings extra stuffing and sometimes someone is delegated to bring black olives and cranberry sauce, or wine, and some years Anders & I provide it. The point being, as I mentioned at the beginning: I DON'T COOK ANYTHING.

Another reason for the dismay: there is so much going on in November and December, both at home and at work, that the idea of adding ANYTHING else to the calendar raises my stress level immediately. It's almost an automatic response; I can't help it. No no no my inner calendar cries out: NO. I don't WANT to add another event, no matter how fun or generous it might be. And with the amount of work we have, constantly, the thought of having to drop what I'm doing at work so that I can spend part of a day helping to cook and prepare the meal and dining experience makes me get the panics.

And the final reason: Thanksgiving is, for me, a FAMILY thing. The people I surround myself with at Thanksgiving, whenever possible, are the people I love most, that mean the most to me, that I am closest to: the friends that might as well be family for me here. Much as I like my colleagues, they aren't the people I want to spend a Thanksgiving celebration with.

So, my response to the inquiry was no. I don't want to help organize it. I don't want to be involved. Then one of the other girls went ahead and sent out the invitation to the entire department and included my name anyway. When I wrote to her in a bit of a huff, saying HEY, I SAID NO, I got a joking response, because of course, I must be kidding, right? Well, no. Actually, I'm not. So far, I've been called lazy and a party-pooper.

***

Despite some cautiously good news about my friend's husband earlier this week, things have been looking pretty grim. The second round of chemo has caused all kinds of complications including the development of gallstones, pneumonia and pancreatitis, along with hallucinations. He's lost 20 kilos and weighs less than he did when he was 18. But in the beginning of the week, his white blood cell count started going up and his infection rate started dropping, which had the doctors looking positive and today they got the results of the second bone marrow test: he's in remission!

My friend was so relieved that she was barely coherent when she called to give me the news today. Remission in this case doesn't mean he's done, however. He's facing gallbladder surgery next week and they have to get the rest of the infections under control as well as the pancreatitis, and after he recovers from the surgery, he'll face at least 3 more rounds of chemo. But it's at least the first really positive news in 2 months, and I'm thrilled.

***

My nephew had his kidney valve correction surgery on Monday and is doing well. He's still in a lot of pain, but my mom is there and between them all it sounds like they are managing to keep him relatively comfortable. He's planning to go trick-or-treating tomorrow in a wagon pulled by the adults, so he won't have to miss out on any of the Halloween festivities.

***

I hadn't realized that Friday was a half day, so was pleasantly surprised a few days ago to find that out. The kids have been on Fall Break all this week which means, since we gave up their after-school daycare spots at the beginning of the year, that they were going to be home alone all week. Anders and I managed to take turns coming home at lunch time each day, and I had been planning to work from home this afternoon, but instead I got to leave at lunchtime as planned and come home while the SUN WAS SHINING and get other things done! BONUS! We ate lunch and then we ran to the grocery store to get Halloween candy for tonight's trick-or-treating and then we went for a walk in the beautiful weather. It's been cold but sunny for several days and perfect walking weather.

Instead of going our usual round, we went up the hill and across the fields, out into the farmland. Most of the fields up there were planted in sugar beets and have already been harvested and plowed under. It felt great to be walking along with the sun beaming down and blue skies all around us. We could see for miles up there. We could see a hot air balloon far away over Lund. We could see deer far away in one of the fields and by one of the lakes a whole flock of resting geese. Karin ran ahead when we got to the section of the road lined with the old twisted-open willow trees, climbing up in them one by one and then dashing on to the next. I sang songs at the top of my lungs while Martin tried frantically to make me stop, despite the fact that there was no one anywhere around for what felt like miles. It was glorious.

Tomorrow is the giant AWC Halloween bash at a playplace in Malmö. There are 158 people signed up as definite and another 20+ at maybes. Should be a fun time. :)

What was up about your week? And if you're going to dress up, what are you going to be for Halloween?

Bat Wing & Black Cat Belated Birthday Wishes to berchshill!

Lunch in the summery weather! — at The Bohemian gowal.la/s/m9t

I'm at Outlet in Brunswick, GA gowal.la/s/gc2

Looking at the neato lighthouse. — at St Augustine's Lighthouse gowal.la/s/5wW